Healing really is a process. We take one small step at a time. Recently I took another step in my heart changing journey. Our journey is often filled with beautiful pathways filled with meadows, wild flowers and waterfalls. Each journey though also consists of mountain top experiences, valleys and cliff hanging trails.
Have you ever been hurt by another? Maybe your spouse was unfaithful, or you were abused as a child. Many have been victims of crimes like rape, stalking, burglary, muggings and identity theft.
I know in my life the hurt of others had a very long lasting affect on me. These individuals chose to hurt me. We are giving free choice and free will and we all make wrong choices. No matter the reason for their choices I was hurt in the end. I felt deep and profound pain. By the grace of God I had made huge strides in my healing journey. Healing often is another form of growth which lasts a lifetime. We are never really done and won’t be until we are face to face with Christ in Heaven.
Guilt and shame were my boulders and stumbling blocks in this journey. I took the blame for their actions. Yes, I realize I am the girl who is always talking about setting healthy boundaries. I had the head knowledge of this but for some reason it not sink into my heart. One day I was reading the book “Wild at Heart” by John Eldridge. He spoke of a scene from Good Will Hunting Staring Matt Damon and Robin Williams. Matt’s character was dealing with abandonment issues relating to his father when Robin tells him it’s not his fault. He kept repeating this until it sunk in and Matt’s character was weeping with the realization.
If only you could understand what went on in my head. Nothing really soaked in until I started sharing it and I heard myself say it out loud.
I write this very transparently so that maybe you too will understand. Yes, we need to own our own actions and our decisions but when a wrong or hurt is done to us, well, we have no right to own it. It’s not your fault.
Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.