One day you wake up and realize that a person you know is not who you thought they were. It’s either been gradual or rapid. Maybe you really saw it all along and you denied the signs. Now this person may be a spouse, a friend, a relative, or a co worker. It just seems that the blinders have been removed. I personally have lived through this and may very well have been that individual. I pray I have not, unless of course that change is for the better.
Ask just about any individual who has been through divorce or a rocky mid life marriage and they will tell you. She’s not the woman I married. He’s not the man I married. What happened to that person? What was the change?
Was the person counterfeit? Were they trying to be something they are not? Often times a counterfeit person tries to be what another person wants them to be. They take on their belief system, their passions and even personality traits to be liked by the other individual. This is someone who does not know or understand where they end and the other person begins. A counterfeit person may be faking their way through life to receive acceptance and love but do not really know who they are. They think they are the genuine article but they are truly counterfeit. After time they do not like being a counterfeit and start to break free and fight to “find themselves”.
The other type of person is a broken person. Yes I believe in the long run counterfeiters fit in this arena as well but it may take them a while to see it. A broken person may be hiding a deep rooted hurt or sin. They are struggling and need to stop and realize their brokenness and work through it.
We all may go through either stage in life. We need people who will speak the truth in love, pray for us and if needed give us a wake up call. Often times we do not want to hear it. I will be the first to raise my hand and tell you that I am often the first to be defensive and make a pathetic excuse for my behavior.
I would like to recommend a book especially to all the counterfeiters out there. “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I love this book and give to many. It just helps you understand what healthy boundaries in relationships are all about. It is full of scripture to back what they teach. For this girl, that is very IMPORTANT. You can visit their web site at http://www.cloudtownsend.com/.
You know we each have been there in a relationship that kind of took a bit of a scary turn. I just want to remind you what Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” He is our strength and salvations, as shown in Exodus 15:2 “The LORD is my strength and song,And He has become my salvation; This is my God, and I will praise Him; My father’s God, and I will extol Him.”
Now about speaking the truth in love, it can be a challenge but it is scriptural. Let me show you.
I Kings 22:16 – Then the king said to him, “How many times must I adjure you to speak to me nothing but the truth in the name of the LORD?
Psalms 15:2 – He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart.
Proverbs 12:17 – He who speaks truth tells what is right, But a false witness, deceit.
Proverbs 21:28 – A false witness will perish, But the man who listens to the truth will speak forever.
Zechariah 8:16 – These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates.
Ephesians 4:25 – Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.
There have been times in my life where I needed someone who loved me enough to speak the truth to me. It was painful, it was hard to hear but it was the truth and I could not turn from it. Now that is LOVE.
So to each of you wondering what to do with your counterfeit or broken person or if you are one, put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ. Speak the truth in love and dare I say, listen in love.