So I’m single again… now what. I don’t know how many times I, and others, have asked that question. During my divorce I was all about the business of my children’s mental health, well being and the divorce. When it was all over I sat back and realized. It’s just me, again.
Truthfully I’ve been focusing on being content in my singleness. I’m learning to see it as the gift from God that it is. Despite the obvious toilet seat, toothpaste and remote control issues no longer existing there are other benefits. I have time for some of the things I love like volunteering. My children get my undivided attention and I can make Christ the center of my home.
I am only human though and like every other single out there I have my days. One topic that comes up in my discussions with other singles is what type of person they want in their life. I hear, “I just want a good Christian woman” or “I want a Godly man”. Notice the sentence always starts with, “I want”.
This morning while working in my yard I started to think of that question but a bit differently. What would that Godly man want in a woman? What would that good Christian woman want in a man? Instead of asking what I want, I asked myself, what would they want? Am I that type of person? If you’re a single man and you want a good Christian woman wouldn’t it seem logical that she would want a good Christian man?
All this is going through my mind as I’m literally dripping in sweat, covered in dirt and dry brush. I kept looking up to see a storm rolling in. Trying to get all the dead branches trimmed, bagged and placed on the curb before the rain comes.
Bear with me as I try to explain the strange thoughts flowing from this brain of mine. My singleness is a great time to let God trim away those dead branches. I had neglected my yard a little too long. During the summer I’m a bit hesitant to spend several hours in the sun trimming bushes and doing other yard work. It’s evident that I waited far too long. After I hauled off the branches you could see where they had been. The ground is darker. There are fallen leaves that no matter how hard you rake, you never get them all. I was slightly chiding myself for not doing this sooner when a heavenly scent floated up from the blossoms on the bush. Even through the trimming and the mess there was still a sweet fragrance. A lot like life. We go too long with an area in our life we choose to not surrender to Christ. Finally, we get up and do what we should have done long ago, surrender. When we finally surrender, He does what we do in the yard, a bit of dead branch trimming. He prunes away the dead so that what is left can thrive and grow. It can be a messy process, but he reminds us of the gift that this is with a sweet fragrance called grace.
I hope I haven’t lost you or confused you. In fact, I probably know what you’re thinking. “What in the world is this woman thinking and what does it have to do with wanting someone in your life?” Good question. There is more.
While sweeping up the dirt, dead leaves and branches I quickly became flustered because it just wouldn’t all come up. Then I heard a rumble in the sky. Quickly I unplugged my trimmer and headed for shelter. God would have to finish the job with some wind and rain. BINGO! God would have to FINISH the job. If the rain does not come today it will in time. It won’t always look like a mess. The bushes will fill in with more leaves and blossoms. The damp, dead leaves on the ground will turn into fertilizer and nourish the bush. In other words let God be in control and we can learn, and grow, from our branch trimming.
During my singleness, I work on surrendering every area of my life to Christ. Example, “Every good and perfect gift comes from above.” This is a fact after all, it’s in scripture. It doesn’t say some comes from above and some comes from humanity. It states EVERY. I have often been proud of the way I provide for my family only to be reminded later by lack of provision that it’s not because of me. My job is a good example. It’s no secret, I’m miserable there. The type of work I do I have not done for about 16 years. I worked hard to get my career, pay, etc to the level it was at. After all, I worked hard for it. There goes that pride again. I have to eat a bit of humble pie today. Sure I worked hard but who gave me those positions in the first place? Who gave me my skills and abilities in the first place? I certainly didn’t. I was created with them. I often think of my money as mine, and my children as mine. They aren’t. They are gifts. Scripture says EVERY good gift is from above. It’s not by my power at all. This is an area that needs to be trimmed in my life.
Let me tie all these ramblings together as best as I can. My singleness is a gift. Honestly, I hope it does end some day. When it does I hope I’m the type of woman that the man “I want”, will want. If I want a Godly man I would think he would want a Godly woman. I guess the point is this, the people God want’s us to be with, want us to be Godly people. God wants us to be like him. In order to do that, we must let him be the gardener, and even though it hurts, let him trim and prune so that we are His work, His creation, and His children.