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Tears are something special and unique. They miraculously flow like small diamonds, or even a small trickling stream. When I consider a diamond I see pure, clear beauty. It is often used as a symbol of love and commitment. When I think of a stream I think of my childhood and playing in them, catching crawdads or frog hunting. They are moments of joy and innocence. I also think of both as pure and clean.
The other night I was struggling with my response to some mountains in my life. As a child we used to camp in the Rocky Mountains and I would see those mountains as an adventure and the opportunity to have great time with my family and to play in the streams. As an adult I look at Mountains as something in my way, it’s too hard to get over and so much work and effort. I am not embracing the adventure, the opportunity to grow closer to my Savior and the opportunity to play in the streams.
They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend. They sparkle in the sun and are a sign of being loved in many cases. A few years ago I was given the gift of a ring in the shape of a heart and it has small diamonds on it. I wear this ring and am reminded of the love of the giver.
A week ago I had been confronted with an issue in my heart that I knew I needed to deal with. It seemed to be festering. I finally prayed and handed it over to God and asked to Him to create in me a clean heart, and to renew my spirit.
When children cry sometimes we respond with frustration. “Stop that wailing child”, you may hear someone say to a frustrated mother in the store. When one of my children cries it affects me deeply. I may try to control my reaction depending on the situation. However, my heart is still touched. My children are precious and dear to me and so are their tears. If I could save every tear I would. There is something precious about the tears of a child.
Today I shed many tears. I hope they are more then just tears of hurt, anger and frustration but tears of healing, cleansing and purifying. I know that they can be priceless and a reflection of God’s love for me and his work in my heart.
Today I can say I truly reflect this verse.
Psalm 6:6 NIV
6 I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
Yet, I claim this verse.
Psalm 126:5 NIV
5 Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.
May your tears be ones of love and cleansing. Remember that we are His children and He treasures every tear.
Friday my daughter was home sick from school for the day. She started feeling better and was looking for something to do. She in touch with me at work and asked if she could put up our Christmas tree. Of course I said yes. She did a beautiful job. There was only a couple of problems. First the box was filled with magots!!! Somehow they got into the plastic bin and just infested it. She freaked out but then got out the vacuum and meticulously cleaned the box and the tree. I came home and looked at the tree and surprisingly enough it seemed magot free. However, I was a bit skeptical and decided we shouldn’t decorate it until Saturday.
Saturday morning rolls around and I inspect the tree. It seemed to be clean. I decided I would give it a little shake just in case and see if any surprises fall out. Nothing falls but there is a snapping sound. I didn’t think to much of it until I noticed the tree was not sitting firmly on all the supports in the base. I turned to say something to my daughter when the tree falls over against the wall. I pulled the tree upright and it falls over again. We finally looked at the base. I cracked part of the base in half and broke off some of the supports. This tree is probably 12 years old or older. It serviced us and the previous owner well. But like most of you this is one tough Christmas financially. What was I going to do?
My son and I left the house to hit the garage sales and look for deals for Christmas or items for me to sell online. I thought I had better keep my eye out for a tree. My son said to me, ” Mom we don’t need a tree this year. It’s ok really. Plus Christmas is not about presents. It’s really about the gift of Jesus.” Both my children have been making it clear what this holiday is about and showing some concern over what the holiday has become. I could not help but tear up because as a Mom I want to shower blessings on my children this time of year. I was also proud of the kind of young man my son is turning into.
After pulling myself together I looked at my son and said, “let’s just see how God works this out”. I was driving at the time and we turned a corner to see the back side of a sign. At first I thought it was for the sale we were just at but at the last second decided to turn the corner. As I did an older gentleman just put a large box on the front curb of his home. My window was down and he over heard me say to Noah, “is that a tree?” He looked up and must have seen the surprise on my face. I asked him if it were a tree. He smiled and said, “yes, do you want it?” It took everything I had to not cry right there. I told him I broke my tree this morning and I have no way of buying a new one. I was hoping to find one at a garage sale. He said, “you can just have this one.” He then called up to his wife to bring the stand and they proceeded to load the tree in my car. This whole time I’m still a little surprised. I told the lady they were part of a miracle. We had just put it in God’s hands. I pulled away with tears of thankfulness to my God for providing. This season is not about the tree it is about the birth of Christ, however, that tree was important to God at that moment. His way of taking care of this single Mom and her children.
Afterwards I said to my son, “we need to trust him like that more often.” We couldn’t help but laugh and list some of the things we have no control over that we needed to give to God. Let me share you another little secret. Every Wednesday my car is full of teens that I take to church on Wednesday night. That would be my son, my daughter and her two friends. Those girls are stuffed in the back seat like sardines. I have no room to take any of my son’s friends. I simply stated to a dear friend one night that I need a bigger car. I said that in jest but at this rate I really do. I do not have the means for another car and no plans in the near or long future either. He said to me simply, “if you need one God will provide.” God will determine that need. It’s in his hands but the lesson I learned that night is the one I applied to the tree. My hands were tied. I could do nothing. God would have to work this out. He did.
You know that tree was not a perfect one. The pole was a bit hard to figure out because the rings you place the branches in were upside down on half of it. It’s a color coded tree and none of the labels were correct. We even had spare parts. The tree is up and decorated. It’s really very pretty. This reminded me of each of us. We can be a little backwards, not coded right and even may have some spare parts but in the end we are beautiful just the way God made us.
God used a Christmas tree that was going to be thrown away, rejected, not wanted any more to bless me and my children. He can do the same with us. We may feel unwanted, rejected and not cared for but we may be just the blessing that someone is in need of today. So keep your eye open for those every day miracles and don’t forget that God may use you to be that very miracle.
Are you like me and start your day cringing in the mirror at the bed head and puffy eyes staring back at you? Well don’t be. Let me tell you what you see each morning is beautiful. It is amazing. Everything in you was so beautifully and intricately designed. Take an anatomy class some time and tell me you are not amazed at the super human computer called a brain or the the amazingly complex electrical system called the nervous system.
One of the changes I am making in my life is my weight. After many years of health issues I gained a lot of weight. So I am in the process of cleansing my body and reprogramming it. I am amazed at how our bodies respond to the foods we put in it. How you can lose weight with adding the amount of water you intake. My health problems also remind me of just how intricately we are designed. Notice how when you get a headache you may be nauseated or your vision gets blurry.
I am apart of an internet group of people who are all losing weight. We each have our own page. On one of those pages they ask what celebrities body you would like to have. Why can’t we like the one that we have been given? That body was designed just for you. Yes there is a creator and he lovingly designed and formed you. You are a work of art. You are precious to him. Often times we are not precious to ourselves so we do take care of this gift. Are you thankful for the body you have given? Do you see yourself as lovingly designed? I hope you do.
Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
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